


PAIN IS BEAUTY

by ulzzangimagines



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Angst, Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, If you are wondering, Minor Violence, One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Love, Sex, Sexual Content, Volleyball, love tangle, william moss is from the game
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-05-15
Packaged: 2020-01-12 02:21:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18437039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ulzzangimagines/pseuds/ulzzangimagines
Summary: “Pain is such a beautiful feeling, that it made me beautiful too — Pain is beauty” (Chanmina) / Kuroo started dating a female in his class and you have to endure their love, sex, and popularity, through all those nights of heartache and pain.





	1. New GF & A Start of a Broken Heart

“hello, my name is Jove. nice to meet you,”

you eyed the familiar face in front on you, her slender hand reached before you for a shake, cupping your hand around hers you consented into a small shake before pulling away. you analyze her face; she wore an unusual style of make-up from the other girls in your school–somewhat of a bold style–her platinum-bleached hair stopped at the graze of her shoulders, and her outfit seemed like they were stylized out of those in a korean pop magazines.

you turned your face to eye her boyfriend, and your roommate, Kuroo Tetsurou. the man who also stole your heart from you. his arm was found wrapped around her shoulder and a smile grew upon his lips as he glanced lovingly towards his new girlfriend. “i hope you don’t mind her crashing into the apartment every now and then,”he apologizes, pulling his gaze away from his girlfriend onto you. you shook your head, and placed a forced smile.

“it’s fine,”

you watched the two walk past you and into the kitchen, as the smile dropped from your face and a sigh took it’s place. you looked up at the clock before gathering your school material and heading towards your room. The background noise of their laughter fades away as you shut the door behind you. you placed your supplies onto the small, white desk and dropped onto the bed, staring up at the plain design of the ceiling above you.

another sigh escapes your lips as you pick up your phone and scroll through your messages;

 

**oi tooru**

how did the confession go? good? bad?

**[name]**

horrible,

i feel like shit.

**oi tooru**

tell me, what happened?

**[name]**

i got rejected even before confessing–

stop, this is not even confessing! i didn’t even want to confess in the first place,, stop putting words in my head,, tooru

**oi tooru**

oops, sorry!

were you planning on keeping your feelings to yourself the whole time, then?

**[name]**

that was the plan,,,

**oi tooru**

geez, [name]. this is why you’re always single!

you keep your feelings inside and back out when everything is going right!

**[name]**

they were not going right,

anyways, kuroo found himself a new girlfriend

**oi tooru**

what?! who is she!? Is she pretty???

**[name]**

you’re not making me feel any better, tooru

her name is Jove, and

apparently they’re in the same chem class together.

**oi tooru**

jove, huh,,,

**[name]**

you know who she is?

**oi tooru**

yeah, she’s the new coach’s daughter…

**[name]**

huh,,,

 

there was a knock on your door, pulling you away from your conversation with your friend, and you placed your phone on top of your desk. “yes, what do you need?” you called, sitting yourself neatly on the bed as the door to your room creaked open.“we’re ordering out, do you want anything to eat?” Kuroo asked, his hand still wrapped around the knob and his phone placed onto his chest in order to block your conversation from being heard.

“what are you ordering?” you asked, quietly. “Chinese food.”

Declining his offer, you stared at the closed door before dropping down onto the comfort of your bed. you eyed the clock on your desk and squeezed your eyelids shut, the tears brimming your lower lashes, falls gently down the curve of your cheeks. your heart pumps rapidly in a painful manner and your breath staggers as you softly cry your eyes out, your fingers grips tightly against the fabric of your shirt.

,,,falling to sleep as their laughter breaks your heart.

 

 

 

It was in the late morning when you finally awaken from your sleep. Your hair was a mess by the small strands of hair tangling themselves into clumps, your eyes were swollen from the overnight crying, and your throat was sore. The ache in your head doesn’t make the dizziness disappear when you struggled to sit up properly on your bed.

“fuck, i have work in the evening,,,”

getting ready for your class; you did your everyday morning routine before dressing into your outfit. checking over everything before leaving, you grabbed your phone, stuffing your work uniform into your bag, and headed out your room.

Walking into the living room, you spotted Kuroo standing in front of the stove and his girlfriend sitting on one of the chairs in the dining table eating her breakfast.His girlfriend looked over at you with a smile and gave you a small ‘good morning’ before turning her attention back to the television sitting in the living room. Kuroo turns to you, as he stir the scrambled eggs cooking on the pan, “good morning,[name]. Heading off to work already? I made breakfast if you’ll like some.”

“no thanks, i’ll just grab a protein bar and be heading out.” you replied, pulling open the fridge and bending over to reach your bottle of water and shutting it behind you.

“you sure? you didn’t eat anything at all last night.” he spoke, shutting off the fire.

Your heart sunk. “I’m fine, my co-workers is hosting a party tonight, i’ll eat then, see you.” you parted, slipping on your shoes before opening the door and leaving the apartment.

 

Class dragged on,horribly, your motivation plummeted as midterms were coming to bite you in the ass. Your professors not giving a fuck and throwing any sort of hellish deeds at you, and you’re slowly losing self-esteem as your whole biochem class– no, the whole university blows up about kuroo and his girlfriend’s relationship.

Your mind was off into the clouds as your best friends squealed about your roommate, even as you parted ways and headed towards the gym. you paused at the entrance, the squeaking of shoes against the polished floor and the hollers of the universities’ male volleyball team ringed through your ears. Taking a deep and calm breath, you stepped into the gym.

“you’re gonna be our assistant coach???!” you hear Bokuto blurting in the midst of the semi-circle group of the uni’s main players surrounding the stranger standing besides the coach. Looking over, you spotted the familiar platinum-blonde locks smiling towards the herd of thirsty males, including your friend Oikawa. You held your hands together,blinking your tears away, you turned around and headed towards the entrance gate of the university.

It was after work hours,the party wasn’t as entertaining to you so you decided to leave and head to the flower shop. The shop was empty as it usually was during Monday nights. Letting yourself in, you walked past the cashier counter–greeting the cashier who was cleaning out the shop–and into the hallway to the room in the back.On your way there, your phone vibrated and you took a glance before turning it off and stuffing it in your bag, it was a message from tooru and you didn’t want to hear it right now.

Your friend, William, walks around the small room as you placed your schoolbag by his bedside table and sat on the cushion of his bed, with a flower arrangement with sweat peas and basil flowers in his hands and places them down besides the alarm clock on his table. “What’s the matter, [name]? You’ve been sighing every three minutes since you came over.” he spoke, wiping his wet, pale hands on the apron hanging around his neck.

“it’s nothing,” you replied, sighing again.

“you’re sighing again.” he reminded, raising a brow softly and sending you a small smile.

Letting out a small breath, you told him about how your life wasn’t going well, omitting the whole situation with your roommate, and how you’ve been living the low lately. “Love problem, huh?” he concluded, walking towards the small shelf of flowers and picking one up.

“here’s a holly flower,” William placed the flower in your hands and sat down next to you. “What’s this for?” you questioned looking up at him.

“ it’s a meaning of hope.” he answered.

He placed his hand meaningfully on your shoulder and gave you a bright smile. You looked up at him; his upturned, ocean-teal colored eyes squinted into a smile, his pale cheeks softly tinted in a light pink color, and his daffodil-blonde hair swayed to the side as he tilts his face.

“Thanks, Will.”

Time passed after a deep conversation on the lighter side of your lives, when you decided to head back. The walk was quiet and frightening, but you decided not to worry about your surroundings as you clutched tightly on the small holly flower in your hands, and walked into your apartment complex. After a flight of stairs, you hesitated by the door. You can hear the loudness of the conversation coming from the living, and you figured Kuroo’s girlfriend and the crew was there.

Pulling the door open, you slipped off your shoes and walked to the entrance of the living room where most of Kuroo’s volleyball friends sat in a circle including Daichi, Tsukki, Bokuto(obviously), Tooru, and his girlfriend.

“Hey, [name]!” Tooru greeted, waving a hand towards you.

“Hey,” you responded, giving him a small smile and looking at the small trash of empty food trays and beer cans littering the table and floor. “You wanna join us?” Jove asked, twisting her body to face you, a can f beer in her hands. “We’re celebrating Kuroo and Jove’s releationship!!” Bokuto hollered, patting a harsh hand on his friend’s shoulders.

Giving them an apologetic smile, you waved your hand in a declining manner. “I’m sorry, I’ll pass tonight…” you bit your lower lip lightly and headed towards your room. Kuroo looked towards the door of your room with a small frown as his friends continued to party.

Stepping into your bed, you placed the flower on your desk and fell to sleep.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> note: here’s chapter one of my new series, PAIN IS BEAUTY. I hope you feel sad because it will get sadder and sadder,, or will it? 


	2. Tests, Practice, & Movie date.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Pain is such a beautiful feeling, that it made me beautiful too — Pain is beauty” (Chanmina) / Kuroo started dating a female in his class and you have to endure their love, sex, and popularity, through all those nights of heartache and pain. | au/s; college!au, roommate!au
> 
> warning/s: profanity, sexual content, sensitive content

       Chapter two.

 

The morning was quiet; kuroo left earlier than his usual time before practice to pick up his girlfriend for school, leaving you alone in the empty apartment. You sleepily walked over to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water when you noticed a bowl, saran-wrapped, of food. There was a note laying on top of the clear wrapping, pealing it off you read it.

 

_ I’ve noticed you haven’t been eating that much lately, so I’ve made you some breakfast. (Make sure to microwave it before eating!) _

 

_ P.s. good luck on the chem test!  _

 

You smiled at the note and stocked it onto your plastic water bottle. Unwrapping the cover, you slipped the plate into the microwave and waited for a minute. Placing the plate on the table, you picked up your utensils and dived in. As you ate, you looked over some of his old chem notes he had last year—with new, updated notes and advice—of now to calculate and interpret each problem.

 

“How cute,”

 

Looking at the time, you almost choked on your water and rushed to leave. Quickly placing the dish into the sink and rushing to get your shoes on, you ran all the way to the train station just in time for the morning ride. The ride was busier than your usual route(at 8:15), since many people had classes in the late morning, and a lot of young elementary kids with their mothers usually boards the train during this time.

 

Hearing your destination announced through the speakers, you placed the notebook in your bag and waited for the train to stop. Spotting and empty area, you stood off your seat and pushed your way to the exiting doors. When the doors finally opened, you dashed out of the station in the direction of your building.

 

Eyeing your college building ahead, you jogged past a few students, and walked to your classroom. As you head to your destination, you looked at the entrance of your class and saw two of your friends. 

 

“Hey guys!” You waved, linking your arms with the both of them. 

 

“Hey [name], are you ready for this test? Because I’m not, i was so busy babysitting my brother, that I pulled an all-nighter, and now I look like a shriveled up plum.” You looked at her face and pouted,

 

“Yumi, you don’t look bad at all,” you smiled. “You’ll be fine, you did well on your other tests.” 

 

“Yeah, me and [name] are on the verge of flunking!!” Your guy friend complained, taking a seat besides Yumi, while you sat on her other side. “Even with all the studying we put in together, we’re doing horribly,” Ren continues, pulling out his notes.

 

As the two of them argued, you pulled out your phone to send your roommate a message.

 

**[name]**

thanks for the notes! 

 

turning off your cell, you scanned over the notes and review, before your phone buzzed again.

 

**roommate K**

no problem, hope they are helpful,,

they are a bit old.

 

**[name]**

oh no, these notes are great!

better than any of the notes I’ve written the whole semester, 

Thanks again.

 

**roommate K**

haha, my pleasure.

also, Jove says hi.

 

You paused, biting your lip as you read over that text. Your professor walked into the auditorium and begun her lecture,

 

**[name]**

tell her I said hello,

my professor’s here..see ya.

 

You shut off your phone after he replied, and continued on your studying through the rest of the lectures.

 

 

 

 

 

As your classes passed by, the feeling of tiredness and dread from the test you’ve just taken a few minutes ago, you parted from your friends and headed off in the direction of the gym. 

 

The gym was hustling with athletes doing their daily warm-ups of dashing from line to line, stretching, or practicing their setting and spiking. The first string was in the other half of the gym discussing methods and tactics with the coach. You set your bag on one of the empty, foldable seats and placed some baggy pants over your leggings and switched your shoes to sneakers. 

 

Wandering around, you found small miscellaneous things to do before a timid player in the third string called you over. Walking over, you gave your best (work) smile and asked what he needed help with.

 

“I-Um want you to .. help me, with m-my stretching,” he stuttered, looking everywhere else besides your eyes.

 

“Sure! What type of stretching do you need help with?” You asked, sitting on your knees, and patting the floor in front of you—signaling him to take a seat. Sitting with his back facing you, you placed your elbow on the curve of his back and pushed your body forward 

 

“A-Ah Ow!” He screams, and you quickly pulled away. “Oh, Sorry! Did I do something wrong?” You panicked, rubbing his back as he tried to find his words. “I-I’m f-fine! Sorry to scare you, I don’t really stretch much,,” his voice became softer and quieter as he becomes unsure of what to do or say. All you do is chuckled, and help him on his feet. “Let’s start with the basics, shall we?”

 

 

 

After the chat the first string had with the coach, the boys parted off to their own training. Kuroo walked besides Bokuto who was blabbering about a huge dinner to celebrate his sister’s second child, when they walked up to Oikawa and Tsukki talking about their new practice techniques while stretching their limbs. 

 

“Hey, you guys practicing on your tossing?”(Tsukki: ‘No.’ )Bokuto hollered, rushing towards the two of them. Kuroo chuckled at the two, before he felt a nudge on his arm. You stood beside him and gave him a small smile. 

 

“Thanks for the notes, even though they probably didn’t help me at all.” You laughed a little.

 

“Well, you never know. If you need any help, just text me. My room is just across from yours.” He patted your head. “Hey,” looking over at his girlfriend, his lips raised into a smile as he(for the thousandth time) placed his arm around her shoulders. Rubbing her upper arm with his thumb, he kissed the top of her forehead. 

 

“What are you doing?” He asked, pulling away to have a seat on the floor to stretch. Jove placed the clipboard down besides his legs and helped push his body forward. 

 

Pulling yourself away, you walked over to the coach and informed him that you’ll be leaving early due to work purposes and headed out the building.

 

 

 

 

 

Work was heavy, there was a huge party and you were unfortunately assigned to care and clean for the aftermath. The customers was the craziest of any other customer you’ve ever taken orders from; they had not only a ton of people, many of them were drunk and you had to guide them back to the room before disturbing other customers, and there was a situation you have to thank your co-worker for before it leads to you getting into any intimate actions you don’t want to think about. 

 

Thanking the gods the party ended right before your shift ends, because not only you were exhausted from school, you had a lot on your plate. Dressing yourself out of your uniform and into your outside clothing, you walked back to your apartment complex.

 

Stepping into the room, you were greeted with the same group that came over a few days ago. 

 

“I’m back,” you greeted, tossing your shoes to the side before walking the fastest route to your room

 

“We’re watching a movie, want to join us?” Kuroo asked, 

 

Contemplating, you looked up at the time and shrugged. “I guess, let me put my stuff away” 

 

Stepping in your room, you did a quick change and placed your stuff on the chair. Grabbing your phone, you stepped back out and walked yourself besides Daichi and sat down.

 

As the movie played, Oikawa and Tsukki we’re arguing about theories they saw on twitter about the movie while Bokuto was wrapped up in a blanket, keeping his eyes on the movie(occasionally hollering now and then). You looked to see Jove cuddling with Kuroo, with a blanket over their tangled legs. You shifted your eyes to your thumbs, a pang settles against your chest, and tears threatening to fall.

 

“You want some?” 

 

You looked up to see Daichi holding out a bowl of popcorn. Giving him a small smile, you grabbed some and shoved it into your mouth. “Thanks,” 

 

As the movie continued, you fell asleep in the middle of a conversation with Daichi about how Tsukki brought up against Oikawa. 

 

What felt like minutes later, you felt someone carrying you to your room and tucked you to bed. You want to open your eyes to see who carried you to your bed, but the comfort of your pillow lured you back to sleep. 

 

‘Kuroo...?’

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> notes: I liked this one way, way better than the one I thought up of previously. The next chapter will probably be more oriented to school drama


	3. The Jerk and Jove’s Guards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pain is such a beautiful feeling, that it made me beautiful too — Pain is beauty” (Chanmina) / Kuroo started dating a female in his class and you have to endure their love, sex, and popularity, through all those nights of heartache and pain.

For three times this week, Kuroo left the apartment empty for you. Yet, this time Jove was there to apparently pick him up. Oh, it’s their four month anniversary, Kuroo’ve been boosting about it all night during the small dinner you two shared last night. You know that you should be congratulating them, but in your heart, you wanted to cry and hope that all your heartache will stop.

You sighed as you walked, third-wheeled, besides them.

As they talked about what Jove’s friends got her as a congratulation gift before transitioning to what they’ll be doing in the afternoon after their afternoon practice. As you zone them out, you plugged your ears with a playlist Kuroo shared with you to ‘ignore all the outside people in your life’ How ironic.

There were small instances where you hated your crush on him, when your hand accidentally brushed against his. When you stepped on the school grounds, you were pulled away by your friends. Some part in you was glad that your friends pulled you away since the walk was so awkward, yet you wanted to say your goodbyes.

Your class went horribly, as you stared at your failing test grade. You dropped your head on your friend, Yumi’s shoulder as you mentally cried. “See I told you I failed! Look at you with you 86, Yumi!” You heard Ren roughly whispered as the two conversed, Yumi’s hand brushing your hair as to comfort you.

“I think I’m gonna drop out,,” you mumbled into her shoulder before she yanked your head away and looked at you with her big, round beautiful brown eyes.

“No, you’re not [name]! Don’t give up! We still have two more tests left to bring it back up!” she hollered, earning a small glare from the professor. “Sorry.”

Lowering her voice, she cupped a hand by her lips and whispered, “Why don’t you take your roommate’s offer and get him to study with you?”

Giving her a look, you whispered back, “You know I cant do that,,”

As the professor wrapped up her lecture, you gather your notes and packed it back in your bag. Stepping up from your seat, you waved to your friends goodbye before heading to vending machine. You have just a few minutes to waste before your next class starts, so why not get yourself a drink?

As you inserted the amount for a beverage, someone in the corner of your eye pressed a button and a can dropped down the tray. Looking over, you eyed the male who finished picking up the drink you did not order at all. “Thanks for the drink, [name].”

You eyed the smirk plastered on his face, his index finger opening the coffee can, and he brings it up to his lips. “How do you know my name?” you questioned, crossing your arms as you head towards your next class, the stranger walked besides you.

“oh, come on,, I sit behind you in your chem class, don’t tell me you don’t notice the people around your surroundings?” you eyed him, he threw his hands up playfully and chuckled.

“no, I don’t pay attention to playboys, or do you like to be called a jerk?” you turned to face him with a smirk of your own. “my, my,,,you have a mouth,”

“Don’t everyone?” you sarcastically answered.

You entered the women’s restroom, in hope that’ll drive him away, but when he spoke up behind you, you screeched and turned to face him facing the ceiling as he sips up his drink before tossing it out in the trash. “What the hell are you doing in the female’s restroom!?”

“We were having a conversation, so-” “Leave!”

You huffed after pushing him out, 'What’s with him? I don’t even know him?’ Sitting on the toilet, you relieved yourself before flushing the toilet after you and stepping out to wash your hands. When you finished, you walked to grab a paper towel when your phone buzzed in your jacket pocket. Picking up your cell, you looked to find an unknown number,

**unknown**

_well, I’ll be leaving, if you want to hang give me a call._

_oh, not in the sensual way,,just if you want to have some mindless fun_

**you**

_why do you have my number?_

**unknown**

_sneaked it when you walked into the rr_

**you**

_whatever, classmate_

**unknown**

_i’m takeshi shigeru._

**you**

_yeah, whatever._

 

 

 

 

shutting your phone, you quickly left the women’s room to head into your class. 'I cant believe that idiot got me late’ stepping in the classroom, you spot your other female friend and walked over to sit besides her. (Why were you late?)

'I got caught up with this flirtatious jerk in my last class" (What? Tell me!)

As you busied yourself with different topics and blocking the teacher’s lecture. You left with your girl friend before her boyfriend came to pick her up on a date she kept telling you about.

As your other classes breezed by the same, boring lessons, you were finally free. As you left to head towards the gym, your friends left early to go to their clubs, when two girls approached you. Looking up at them, you realized that they were the two friends Jove brags about.

“Do you need anything?” you questioned, waiting for them to finish before you could leave and get to the gym before anyone notices–if they care. 'gosh, what’s with today?’

“I want to get straight to the point- I, we, want you to stay away from Kuroo Tetsurou.” the taller, more fierce-looking one of Jove’s friends, spoke(more like announced) in a loud voice, echoing the empty hallways. Eyeing her and her friend, your lips automatically curved to a smirk, “Why is that? Don’t you girls know your friend is dating him? Why are you lusting over him?”

“What?” Her brows furrowed, “We aren’t lusting over him!”

“Uh-huh,” you said in an unamused tone. “Anyways, You have feelings for him right? We saw you blushing at him when you walked over to the entrance way in the morning.” Stopping in your tracks as you walked to the exit, you looked over your shoulder. “So what if I do? Not like I’m gonna confess.” As you walked off you heard the authoritive friend, Akira, holler besides her friend, Kaede. “You better watch yourself!”

Forgetting about your manager job, you headed straight to your job. Sending Oikawa a message that you won’t be going in today, you rushed to your job.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more drama and heartbreak in the next chapter! Akira and Kaede will be a bitch in the next couple chapters. I wanted it to transition into drama, so I hope this isn’t early for that drama. I know that there isn’t much Kuroo action, but eventually he’ll come in–most likely starting in the next chapter.


End file.
